THC

This is how Trinity writes "our names." She puts this on about everything she writes or colors now.

Fly on the Wall...

While we were watching Tooth Fairy 2:

Trinity: Why did he turn into a girl?

Me: He didn't. What makes you think that he did?

Trinity: Well, he's dressed in pink now and girls wear pink...so why is he a girl now?

Our Little Girl

Over the past few weeks, Chris and I have REALLY started to see the signs and realize that our baby girl is quickly becoming our little girl. Of course, she'll always be our baby, but with the strides she has been taking over the past few weeks, it's hard to miss that she's not a baby any more. Chris has even joked that his "Scooter" is becoming a "Moped" :o)

One of the things that's caught my attention the most is the fact that "Da-Da" became "Daddy" a couple of weeks ago. Beyond that, she's trying to say new words every week. She now, frequently says: Ma-Ma, Daddy, Ba-ba (bottle), Ju (juice), shoooe, Na-Nah or Na-Ne (banana), Bi (bite), ab-ble (apple), O or Jeh-wO (Jello), bye-bye, no, see, Ba (bath), Ba (back...she'll point you in the opposite direction), Wa-wa (water), Coa-Coa (for horse because Coach was the first horse she really connected with), C-mOn (come on), side (slide), ou-side (outside), dough (door), wab-el (waffle), boo or bah (book...she makes the sign for book while she repeats the word), ca-ca (color), boo (blue), eh-wO (yellow), puh-pel (purple), Ni-nigh (night-night), man (a-men...she either says this when she wants to say her prayers while placing her hands together and/or at the end of the prayer), bow or hah-bow (bow / hair bow; also used to refer to her headbands), bock (box, usually referring to her lunch box), Dod-jew (Dodger), Re (Rhett), dod-ja or dod-je (doggie), Elmo, sho-da (shoulder), eye, bu-bu (bubble), bah (block), rie-ba (right back), f-ow-ah (flower), he-wO (hello / cell phone), Die-pew (diaper), pee-pee and poo-poo, as well as T-T (Trinity). She's also started trying to repeat other words she hears us say during the course of our day, such as tickle and Bible. She's trying to put together phrases, too. For now, besides the few word pairs I listed above and certain words in children's songs, it's just random syllables that she tries to string together.

She is starting to enjoy having her teeth brushed and flossed and helps out from time-to-time. Just this past weekend, she started showing signs of getting ready to potty train again - she came to me and said pee-pee over half of the time she needed to go to the potty. She usually tells Dodger and Rhett night-night and sometimes tries to give them kisses through their crates before she goes to bed. She will often give us good night kisses, as well, but she has to be in the mood. If we ask her for "sugars" or kisses and she doesn't want to she turns her head away and slightly up in the air while squishing up her face. I think it's so cute. She loves playing in the water, but she doesn't really like having her hair washed. She totally abhors having her toe nails clipped; I think some of this might be because of how ticklish her feet are.

Trinity loves to color, "read," and slide. She also likes music, from trying to sing to "playing" on her drums and pianos. She's starting to understand how to play hide-and-seek. (Chris will often take her to hide in a closet and wait for me to come find them.) Trinity is now telling Chris "shhhh" as they stand and wait in the closet. She loves several children's songs, too. She'll put her fingers up to her cheeks when she wants us to sing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. (I still haven't figured out why though.) She'll say bye-bye baby when she wants to sing Rock-A-Bye Baby. She'll say B-C-Ds when she wants to sing the ABCs. What I think is the cutest, for now, is when she wants to sing The Wheels on the Bus, Trinity will say "shhh" "shhh" "shhh" "beep" "beep" "beep"; as we sing this song, she'll go through all of the stages from round-and-round and waaah-waaah-waaah to up-and-down. She'll also put her thumbs and pointer fingers together, almost forming a diamond shape, when she's wanting to sing the Itsy Bitsy Spider. When singing Pat-a-Cake, she loves the ending of "for baby and me." She'll place her hands on your cheeks and squish them together while saying "meeee" with you.

Trinity is definitely a "Daddy's Girl" right now. She'll still want ma-ma from time-to-time, but she is absolutely Daddy's little helper. Trinity is Chris' little shadow, from helping out with our plants to helping "build" our entertainment system and some shelves. She will follow Chris every where. Trinity has no fear, which means I have to try to keep my eye on her every second. She'll climb up her slide the wrong way and think about jumping off; she'll also try to tip over her rocking chair or giraffe-bike. She rarely ever cries when she gets hurt. The longest I've ever heard her cry is a time she fell and almost bit through her lip and that was only for a minute.

After two months, she still loves Montessori School, too. For the past couple of weeks, if Trinity is in the middle of doing something when I walk in, she'll stop what she's doing for a minute and step away and say "roar" (what she does when she plays like she's going to get us). Then she'll run over to me saying ma-ma and ask me to c-mon. Trinity will then bring me back over to her work to show me everything she was doing. After that, I'll ask her to put her work away so we can go home. She'll hurry up and get everything put up and run over to her cubby and grab her lunch box, bag, and blankies; then, she'll run out the classroom door wanting to get outside and in the van asap.

I can't wait to see what God has in store for her, as well as for Chris and me as we try our best to guide her through this time of her life.

I love this baby girl with all my heart!

Baby Girl

Although Trinity is not really a baby any more, she will (most definitely) always be my baby girl.

The past few weeks she has gotten so fun. Just like when she started cooing, then moving... as her understanding of the world around her and her vocabulary grows, we are often awe struck with her new "tricks."

She recently figured out she can express her feelings/wants and actually let us know exactly what it was that she wants. "Come on" or "C-mOn" can frequently be heard, and she is so sweet as she looks at you and says it while reaching up and motioning with her hand (opening and closing). "Back" is another new word she has a grasp on, too. If she leads you somewhere and you try to move out of that area before she wants you to, she will often say "back" while either motioning/pointing back to where you were or grabbing on to your legs and pushing/pulling you back.

"Ouside" is also frequently used these days. Trinity loves being outdoors (rain or shine). Now that she's figured out she can tell us what she wants and she will often get it, she is often pointing toward a door and saying "ouside" or even going over to a door and trying to fiddle with the door knob while repeatedly saying "ouside."

A week or so before she started using "come on" and "back," Trinity figured out that she could try to position us how she wanted by guiding us with our shoulders, arms, fingers, legs, etc. She was wanting me to slide the first time she did this with me. She was so cute as she walked across the room to where I was sitting in the floor. Once she got over to me, I thought she was reaching to give me a hug. Instead, she grabbed my shoulders and proceeded to try to "pull" me in the direction of her slide. Once I stood up and started heading in the direction she was trying to guide me, she reached for my finger and led me the rest of the way there. Then, she pointed at the steps and said "slide."

I really wish I could catch some of these moments on video! Trinity's definitely growing up...

Sneak Peek

Here's a sneak peek at what we'll soon be sending to our friends and family:



What do you think?

Chronic Pain

As I continue to struggle with pain, I'm also noticing changes in my attitude and behavior. It's amazing how much pain can changes one's life.

I'm finding that it's affecting my relationship with others, even beyond my interaction with my husband and daughter that I touched on in an earlier post. I wasn't very outgoing to begin with, but now I don't really want to go out in a group. I also don't want to carry on conversations with others; this one really bothers me, but I know where it stems from. Over the past year, especially with my husbands help, I've realized how often I say the wrong thing. This just adds another magnitude on to my ongoing struggle of not being able to remember common, simple words (like towel, dog, diaper, etc) from time-to-time. Who knows how many times I've misspoke at work or in some other situation where my husband wasn't even around to try to correct me. I hate it, and the really bad thing is that I've even noticed it starting to happen when I type, too. I now have to try to proofread anything I type at least a couple times, and there are still times when I send or post something just to realize that I typed something wrong at a later time. Also, I used to enjoy the fact that I my written word came out "more intelligent" than my spoken word…that's quickly becoming a thing of the past, too. Ugh! I really don't like this.

Ok, beyond noticing that I'm becoming a bit reclusive :o), I'm starting to get a temper and become very short with people…including my daughter. What?! I know she's just 17 months (today as a matter of fact), and I love observing her as she is learning from her surroundings. I also know that she gets frustrated easily because she can't communicate everything she wants to, and she can't do everything she wants to do either. Her frustrations combined with how short-fused I'm starting to be, especially on days that I'm really struggling, are not meshing very well right now. Take last night for example, I ended up so frustrated and mad at myself it wasn't funny. I was trying to feed Trinity supper. After a few bites of the mac-and-cheese I'd heated up for her she started getting antsy and wanting down. Because of how she'd been acting, I knew she was hungry so I kept trying to get her to eat. I was even letting her feed herself, which is her new favorite thing to do. When she started wiggling around, I started "helping" her with the spoon. Pretty soon, she was waving her free hand up and down at me. She pulled the hand with the spoon away from mine and flung it to the floor and then batted the bowl of mac-and-cheese down, too (not before sticking her whole hand in the middle of the food). Then she was really waiving her arms around, mac-and-cheese flying off her hand in the process. I ended up spanking her before I even caught myself. Yes, that ended her fit, but that's not what I should've done. After she quit crying and totally calmed down, I realized her "fit" was the only way she knew at the time to try to tell me she wanted something besides the mac-and-cheese. Why did I do that instead of taking the time to figure out why she was frustrated (which is what I normally do)? Like I said, I was very mad at myself for doing this. I was in tears last night, and I'm even starting to tear up as I write this now.

I so want to find something that will stop the pain I'm dealing with. I know other people suffer through even worse things, and I honestly think that may be why I'm still finding the strength to fight this every day. I just continue to try to thank God for the day He has given me and find blessings each day. But that still doesn't stop (or reverse) the changes I'm seeing in myself.

I'm really getting to the point where I just want to lock myself in a room on my really bad days. Even though, most days, I am so exhausted I just feel like I want to go to bed as soon as I put Trinity to bed, I really think I'm going to have to start doing more research into Fibromyalgia, Limited Scleroderma, and chronic pain on my own. Maybe, just maybe, I'll find something that might help.

Loving the Carousel at Gatti-Town!

Enjoying her 1st trip to Gatti-Town!

Trinity enjoyed herself at Gatti-Town this weekend. This video was taken while she was on the little dragon "ride." 


I'll post another of her first ride on a Carousel, while we were there, a bit later.


[Sorry for the poor quality; these videos were taken from my cell phone.]

Thankful Thursday - Sweet T

Given the fact that I've been feeling pretty crummy this week, I debated on doing a Thankful Thursday post today. But, who says everything has to be going your way before you can be thankful for something. Right?!

I'm thankful that I have such a sweet daughter. She is such a pleasure to watch as she grows. She's currently at the point where she is really wanting to be our little helper. I hate that I've had to rely on that in order to get some things done this week, but she's had fun helping me in the process. Besides being such a great help with throwing her diapers away, as well as going up and down the stairs by herself, she has been a joy to watch as her love for finger foods has grown this week. Crackers, cookies, wagon wheels, etc...she loves them all. There's some chocolate chip cookies in our room that I have to keep hiding from her. If she ever catches a glimpse of that blue bag, boy does she go crazy trying to reach for it and begging.

God definitely knew something when He decide to send her to us. I hope we're making our special mark on her life. That aside, I can definitely say she has been the beam of light to my otherwise dreary week.

27 years and 15 months

By the title, I'm guessing you're thinking I can't do math across years and months correctly. Well, that's not exactly true...

Man, time flies! This past week marked 15 months since Trinity entered this world, as well as PC’s 27th birthday.

This milestone in Sweet T’s life can be marked with increased use of her hands and an increase in her confidence with walking. She loves waving and blowing kisses bye-bye. She’s also started signing a few things, like more food and all done. Getting her to sit in one place for a few minutes is growing more and more difficult as she continues to gain more confidence in her walking abilities. This is ever apparent on Sundays. Over the past couple of months, she’s made it through less and less of the church service each week. Her love of shoes is growing right along with her love of walking, too. Many a time, she has picked up her pair of Croc-like sandals off the floor and walked over to PC or me wanting them put on...over the pair of shoes she currently has on. You should see her when we get home in the afternoon, too. I take her out of her car seat and stand her up in our driveway. She’s usually almost at the front door by the time I grab her baby bag, shut the car door, and catch up to her.

Trinity’s biggest delight over the past couple of weeks has been turning lights off and on. She loves flipping the light switches in the house. Plus, while we’re in the car, she begs for the interior lights to be switched on…then off…then on…well, you get the point. She’s turning out to be a great little helper, too. You definitely won’t ever forget to close the refrigerator door, well any door for that matter, or a drawer while she’s around. It’s not that she’ll be in it if you don’t…it’s that she’ll shut it for you if you leave it open. Even if you were going to leave it open for just a few seconds, she’ll close it for you before you’re really done if she can make it over fast enough. She’ll also throw her diapers away for me.

Rhett and Dodger and Trinity are enjoying each other more and more. She now helps me let the dogs out and feed them in the morning, and she enjoys putting them to bed and giving them their treats at night. On weekends, she loves playing with them throughout the day, too.

Now, on to PC. We haven’t had the chance to do much to celebrate his birthday yet. I feel bad about that. He did pick-up a game and a couple of movies last night, and I’ll be making Enchilada Casserole tonight. I guess that will give him some time to relax, but I don’t really feel like that’s enough. For all he does for me, I wish I could think of something more!

Hard to Believe

Well, yesterday, Trinity continued her current trend, but she surprised me when she started her 'fit' in the car.

On the way to daycare, she started grunting and acting really anxious. She was even trying to bounce up and down in her car seat and she was reaching out towards me. I told her to try to hold on and I would take her to the bathroom as soon as we got to daycare. Sure enough, I headed in with her and went straight to the bathroom; that was what she wanted.

I finally got a minute to talk to one of the workers this afternoon, and she really didn't believe me when I told her she was already starting to show interest. I described how she's been letting me know just so they might try to watch for the same signs. We'll see how that goes.

Nonetheless, I rearranged baby gates this afternoon to make the bathrooms more accessible, and we'll just continue trying to encourage her to let us know. Chris and I are still in a state of disbelief over this right now, but we are excited and happy about it, too.

Ready for Potty Training?

Until yesterday, I thought the past couple of weekends was just a fluke. Now, I think I'm wrong.

For the past few weekends, Trinity has come to me, at least once a day, to try to tell me she needs to go to the bathroom. Except for yesterday morning, we were always downstairs, and she would come over and act kind of whiny and want me to pick her up. When I would pick her up, she would start bouncing up and down and grunting. The first time I didn't have a clue what she wanted. On a whim, I tried bringing her to the bathroom. As soon as I sat her on the toilet she went. The following weekend a very similar situation took place.

Yesterday morning was different... Chris and I were in our room getting ready for church, and we were letting Trinity run around and play. Next thing I know, she teetered into our bathroom and started banging on the toilet lid. I decided to give it a try, and sure enough she had to go.

Hey, all of this still may be coincidences with timing. However, after this has happened three weekends in a row, I'm starting to question whether it's a fluke or not. I know she's not ready to start learning how to control it, and she's not at a point where she's coming to me while she's really hard at play. But, I guess I'll be thankful that it looks like she's already starting to show signs of being interested.

I'm lovin' the gDiapers

The past few weeks Sweet T has ended up with some pretty bad diaper rash by the weekend. I wasn't very happy with this; however, I'd always be able to get it cleared up before Monday rolled around again by letting her go with out a diaper from time-to-time, etc. Last weekend was different. It was even bad enough on Friday that the daycare worker even made a comment about it being VERY red to PC when he picked her up. As soon as they got home, I went to go ahead and change her diaper so I could have a peek. I was surprised when I found oozing blisters ranging in sizes from a dime to a quarter and others about the size/shape of my finger. I called the after-hours nurse to see if there was anything I could do to treat Sweet T from home during the weekend to bide us over until she could get seen in the office on Monday. They proceeded to tell me that their protocol with a case that bad was to have them seen immediately because it could quickly run into scalded skin syndrome in some cases. They also mentioned an after-hours pediatric clinic that we had never heard of, which we are THRILLED about!

After a trip to the after hours clinic (luckily...instead of the ER) last weekend, we were told by the pediatrician that seen Sweet T that we would need to keep her in cloth diapers, or even better...let her run around naked, at least through the weekend. After I ended up with a large mess on my hands on Saturday morning, I went looking for an alternative to disposable diapers, and I found these "gDiapers" at Babies 'R Us. So far, I love them.

They are somewhat of a mix between cloth diapers and disposables...almost to the point where you get the best of both worlds. They definitely breath better than disposables, and the gDiapers don't have as many of the chemicals and plastics that disposables do. I love the fact that you can flush them and end up with practically no waste, or you can toss them and know that they will start degrading in 50+ days. I've always felt bad about all the waster we were sending to the landfill just because of the horrendous amount of diapers we go through.

After a week, I'm happy at how it has went. I'm definitely thinking about fully "making the switch." For now, we are still using "overnights," but gDiapers has tips on how to double up the layers for during the night. I plan to try that in a couple of weeks if the daytime continues to go well. I also plan on making an order of a few more of the cute cloth outer layers from their site; they have several cute colors besides the adorable orange and cream ones you get in the starter pack. I will also be signing up for the auto-delivery of the refills sometime soon.

Hope you have a good Friday and enjoy the upcoming weekend!

My Sweet, Baby Girl

Dear Sweet T,

It was nine months ago today when you breathed your first breath in this world. After months of worries and ups and downs during the pregnancy, oh, how proud we are that you were born, that you are our baby girl. Your daddy smiled non-stop for days after you were born. You have already brought so much joy to our family in the short time you have been with us. How proud we are!

Today you are nine months old. It's impossible for me to think of your first few months and not have my eyes well up with tears. They are warm, sweet, happy tears as I celebrate the bittersweet fact that you are already growing up. My how time has already flown by; it really does seem like yesterday was when daddy and I first brought you home.

I love you so much. I can't wait until you finish cutting your first teeth. Daddy and I definitely long for the day when you say your first word and especially when you start saying mama and dada. We'll look on with joy the day you start crawling forward since you're still stuck in reverse at this moment. I'm sure we will be filled with pride as you take your first (unassisted) step at some point during the coming months. As you continue to grow, I so look forward to putting ponytails in your hair and God's Word in your heart.

But to be honest, if I could bottle you up right now, I would in a heartbeat. That way I would be able to savor the sweet smell of your head forever. Feel your warm baby breath on my cheek as I rock you. See that gummy grin as daddy or I enter the room. Dust my fingertips across your cheek or play with your baby fine hair. Feel a closeness to you like nothing else as I nurse you to sleep. Gaze forever into your eyes as you search for mine and reach out for my face. Embrace your tiny body. Listen forever to your baby gurgles, coos, grunts, and sighs. Rock you as we gaze into the night together, while daddy sleeps, and it is just you and I. Sing quiet lullabies to you as you relax in my arms and drift off to sleep. I love you so much, Sweet T, and I am very sad that you won't be my baby forever.

Of course, you'll always be my baby in the way that I am still my mother and father's baby and in the way that they are still the baby of their parents. Grow up you must, grow up you will, and I will find joy and happiness in that journey. But I will cherish these fleeting baby moments with you. I will enter your childhood with you with no regrets about your short baby days. I will leave no kiss unkissed and no cuddle uncuddled, no matter what the hour of day or night. I already know too well, now, how precious and momentary sweet infancy is. Since I cannot keep you little forever, I will make the sweetest, deepest memories that I can, now while you are little.

And when you are grown, I will fondly remember your first months, with warm, sweet, happy tears in my eyes once again.

All my love,

Moma

War Wounds

Well, Sweet T had a few incidents at day care today. Just a couple more reminders of how much I hate for her to be there. Oh, well...

1st off, another little girl scratched her on her face (her right cheek). It's actually not that bad; it's just long. We're told she got a note sent home stating that she can't come back until her fingernails are cut.

Next, dd was playing with a toy and another child decided they wanted it. When she wouldn't give it to them, the other child bit her on her arm.


At least she's taking it in stride. If you couldn't tell by the photo of the scratch on her face, she doesn't seem to be phased by any of this at all...at least not by this afternoon.

A Bit About Us

We are a loving family that became more complete on October 30, 2008.

PC and I met during the summer of 1999 while on a 4-H trip to Georgia. Although we grew-up in the same rural town, we did not know each other until that summer. However, we later realized we had a chance encounter when we were younger; we even have the picture from the paper to prove it. You see, we both took a hay ride with Santa and the local paper had printed a brief blurb about that event for the local children.

Fast-forward to 2003, because of a job offer upon graduation from college, I moved over 300 miles away from family and friends. My Prince Charming soon followed. In 2005, we were wed underneath Laurel Falls in the Smokey Mountain National Park. (The photo below was actually taken on our hike up to the falls.)


In early 2008, we found out we were expecting. What a blessing from God! The pregnancy had its ups and downs, and the doctors were concerned because of the potential problems that could be lurking around the corner. There were a few times the doctors even pressed us to induce. However, we left it up to God's timing, and early October 30, many prayers were answered because we gave birth to a happy, healthy baby girl.


Sweet T is the joy of our life!

Move It, Move It

I like to move it, move it.
I like to move it, move it.
I like to move it, move it.

Ya like to move it!

Besides scooting around in circles, Sweet T has now figured out she can scoot herself backwards.

26 weeks

Wow, how time flies. I can’t believe it has already been 6 months!!! What a blessing Sweet T has been.

Before you were conceived, I wanted you...
Before you were born, I loved you...
Before you were here an hour,
I would die for you...
This is the miracle of life.

Although the medical bills and stress built up for a while, from her stay in the NICU to trips to the ER for allergic reactions and high temps, it has all been worth it to be blessed by this gift from God for these 6 months.

She is definitely developing her own, unique personality, and it’s a joy to watch her blossom in front of our eyes. She’s started reaching out for us, and playing bashful from time-to-time. She is such a content and happy baby, but she’ll let you know if she’s getting tired or extremely hungry. Sweet T absolutely adores her daddy; she loves getting to see her extended family, too. Going to visit our family for Easter was exciting because we got to watch her start to interact with all her relatives.

She loves her jumper and kickin’ coaster, as well as her car walker/jumper. She’s trying to crawl, but she’s only figured out how to push off with one side so she ends up scooting in circles instead. :o)

She will eat anything that you give her...that is as long as it has a smooth texture and thin consistency. We haven’t found a baby food (besides the meats) that she won’t eat, and she enjoys trying things from our plates, too. She loves peaches, sweet potatoes, and blueberry-apple baby food. Pudding, gravy, and water (from a glass or straw) are definitely high on the list of foods she likes to take from our plates. She’ll gum on cucumbers and (bland) satay, and she loves to wave around french fries.

Sunday will be her baby dedication, and I will try to remember to bring a camera so that we can capture images of that special time. If we get some good pictures, I’ll try to post them here when I get a chance.

For this child I prayed; and the LORD hath given me my petition which I asked of him: Therefore also I have lent him to the LORD; as long as he liveth he shall be lent to the LORD. And he worshiped the LORD there. 1 Samuel 1:27-28

When I’m away from her, I live for the moment I get to see her look up at me and smile with that big, gummy grin.

I love this baby girl so much.

A wee bit of heaven
drifted down from above-
A handful of happiness,
a heart full of love.

The mystery of life,
so sacred and sweet-
The giver of joy
so deep and complete.

Precious and priceless,
so lovable, too-
The world's sweetest miracle,
baby, is you."
- Helen Steiner Rice -

Faith

What truly is faith? What is a good measure of faith? I have really started questioning if I would have (and outwardly exhibit) as much faith as the mothers of these beautiful children have, especially if I were going through the same circumstances with my baby.

As I have been following their blogs during the past weeks, their stories have really touched my heart. I only hope and pray that I would (and do) have as much faith and as strong of a relationship with God as they do. Oh what a testimony their stories are to the grace of God, as well as His wondrous powers and the peace and healing He can bring!

I still feel like I am trying to (re)build my relationship with God after I had strayed for a few years. However, I just cling to Him each day and know that He is with me.

On a lighter note, here is a video clip of Sweet T having some "Frosty Fun" on March 31.

Green Peas

This weekend went well. My parents came on Friday night and left Saturday afternoon. We didn't get to spend much time with Prince Charming (PC) though because he helped some of our friends fix a fence for their horse pasture. Mom says they'll have to come back soon so that they can visit with him. :o)

My parents couldn't believe how much Sweet T has changed. They got to see her try green peas; they definitely aren't her favorite food, but she does tolerate them. (I think she likes peaches the best...so far.) They also got to see her eat some gravy and suck on a lemon wedge and an orange slice, and I gave her some water out of a glass.

Of course, with all the excitement, I didn't take a single picture with our camera. Mom took several with hers, and I hope to get copies of those pictures.